One of the things I’m most interested in exploring through the Mighty Ugly project is how we’re affected by the judgments we make in response to other people’s beautiful creations.
Today on Jezebel, Sadie Stein wrote a post that perfectly encapsulates what I mean. It can be very hard, when the vast beauty of crafts and lifestyle blogs is always just a click away, to judge ourselves against the stunning photos and whimsical stories people create. On the days we’re not very open to inspiration, we may read those blogs and end up feeling like crap. We can end up feeling like our photo-composition skills are severely lacking, like our fashion sense is so conventional, like we can maybe throw together a plate of chocolate chip cookies but not a meringue like she can.
We judge ourselves. Harshly. Unfairly. We decide we shouldn’t bother making stuff. And what do we get out of it those days we fall, as Stein put it, “down the picturesque-vintage-design-craft rabbit hole… and [emerge] three hours later, bleary-eyed and full of self-loathing”? Nothing good, that’s what.
I wish Shoshana could wave her magic wand (mental note: make Shoshana a magic wand) and stop people from creating such misery for themselves. But she can’t. We need to do it ourselves. We could stop seeking out all that beauty, but what good would that do? No. What we need to do is stop freaking judging ourselves so harshly.
Stop it. Now. You owe yourself better.
[Hat tip to @SisterDiane, who tweeted the link to Jezebel.]
8 comments
guessica - April 23, 2010
i started writing a lengthy comment, but think i prefer to mull this for a few days and then post fully on it myself. but the short of it is, when i began my blog, fig and plum, years ago, i was a grad student. now i work at an intense job at a law firm. my take on sadie's post and this entire issue is way, way different today than it might have been back then. it doesn't involve self-loathing, but to me this phenomenon is tied up in questions about feminism, work-life-finance, health, and relationships.
Kim Werker - April 23, 2010
I'm really looking forward to reading your post!
lov - April 27, 2010
Oh man, you have hit the nail on the head. the blog-inspired self-loathing became a huge issue for me last year, so I went on a media diet (posted my experience here). It was hard to do, but it's been almost a year since then and my media-consumption habits are still much healthier.
Kim Werker - April 28, 2010
What a great idea. Do you mind if I ask what your media-consumption habits are now, a year later? (BTW, I love your creatures!)
lov - April 28, 2010
Thank you! To start with, I removed the biggest offenders from my RSS reader. I still visit those sites occasionally, but now it takes more effort to read them. I've also limited my daily web surfing to around 1/2 hour per day (including one visit each to Twitter and Facebook). Once a week I allow myself to browse for longer, but only in order to collect ideas, which I save and organize using a free utility called Evernote. I also don't subscribe to anymore magazines now that Craft stopped being published and only read them when I travel.
The best way for me to turn the tables is to replace the time I spend reading about the stuff I want to do/have with an empowering activity like a thing-a-day project. It shields me from the rose-colored worlds of the color-me-katies (that girl is like 23!) and makes me feel more productive. I think Mighty Ugly is a really wonderful, freeing idea that makes a great thing-a-day theme. Good luck with your project!
lov - April 28, 2010
Thank you! To start with, I removed the biggest offenders from my RSS reader. I still visit those sites occasionally, but now it takes more effort to read them. I've also limited my daily web surfing to around 1/2 hour per day (including one visit each to Twitter and Facebook). Once a week I allow myself to browse for longer, but only in order to collect ideas, which I save and organize using a free utility called Evernote. I also don't subscribe to anymore magazines now that Craft stopped being published and only read them when I travel.
The best way for me to turn the tables is to replace the time I spend reading about the stuff I want to do/have with an empowering activity like a thing-a-day project. It shields me from the rose-colored worlds of the color-me-katies (that girl is like 23!) and makes me feel more productive. I think Mighty Ugly is a really wonderful, freeing idea that makes a great thing-a-day theme. Good luck with your project!
Kim Werker - April 28, 2010
What a great idea. Do you mind if I ask what your media-consumption habits are now, a year later? (BTW, I love your creatures!)
lov - April 28, 2010
Thank you! To start with, I removed the biggest offenders from my RSS reader. I still visit those sites occasionally, but now it takes more effort to read them. I've also limited my daily web surfing to around 1/2 hour per day (including one visit each to Twitter and Facebook). Once a week I allow myself to browse for longer, but only in order to collect ideas, which I save and organize using a free utility called Evernote. I also don't subscribe to anymore magazines now that Craft stopped being published and only read them when I travel.
The best way for me to turn the tables is to replace the time I spend reading about the stuff I want to do/have with an empowering activity like a thing-a-day project. It shields me from the rose-colored worlds of the color-me-katies (that girl is like 23!) and makes me feel more productive. I think Mighty Ugly is a really wonderful, freeing idea that makes a great thing-a-day theme. Good luck with your project!